“I’m an absolute idiot.” Those were the words streaming through my head a few weeks ago. I had stopped to buy something, and when I pulled out of the store parking lot, I rammed the side of my car against a light pole. I mean really, who does that?
“Idiot” Those words followed me home that afternoon, and “idiot” remained in my head many hours later. I felt like a total loser.
As I sat alone that afternoon, I continued down the self-destructive path known as doubting and feeling sorry for myself. “You’re your own worst enemy people say,” but we’re not the only ones to blame when it comes to self-inflicted pain. The Bible tells us that we will “wage war against supernatural powers and the demon princes that slither in the darkness of this world.” (Ep 6:12)
When we allow doubt and discouragement to enter our minds, we are opening the door to allow the enemy to slither in there too. I believe he uses our doubts more than anything else to crush our spirits. We begin the process by making lists in our head of all the good and bad things we do (a stat sheet of sorts) and at the end of the day we tally them up to determine how good (or bad) we did. On a bad day we beat ourselves up by listening to the enemies lies, instead of searching out the truth from God.
“Stupid, What were you thinking?, You’re ugly, You’re all alone, Who do you think you are?, You will never…, You will always be…, No-one cares.”
These are just a few of the phrases we say to ourselves. We beat ourselves over the head with these words until we start to believe they might just be true. Bible teacher Beth Moore says, “When life is rough, I feel unworthy because I’m invariably not handling it perfectly. When life is terrific, I feel unworthy because I know I don’t deserve it.”
Can I get an amen? This.Is.Me. I have trouble finding a balance between the two. One day I’m holding my head high, confident and secure in my identity in Christ, and then BANG, I hit a light pole and suddenly I’m an idiot.
As I was drowning in the lies, I was reminded by a friend to start speaking scripture over myself. Friend, the enemy wants nothing more than for us to stay stuck under the heaviness of the lies. He knows God’s Word is the only way to bring the truth to light.
I’m made in His image. He’s given me a new name and He alone knows that name. He knew me before I was born. His love surpasses all knowledge. No one will ever be able to separate me from His love. I have an inheritance waiting for me in Heaven.
These are the only words capable of bringing us back to the truth about ourselves. They have power, and they restore. And as for my rainy days and Mondays, I know there will be many more waiting in the shadows, but with God’s Word on my side, they will never be able to get me down, and keep me there.
We can find God’s Word alive in music, and this song has been especially comforting to me over the last few weeks. I pray it blesses you as well. Salina
“How Can it Be” by Lauren Daigle
Moore, Beth, Children of the Day, Lifeway Press, Nashville, TN, 2014.